Do you ever wonder if sweet, timid-voiced Michelle Duggar ever raises her voice? Even yells? I’m sure I am not the only one that has wondered this very thing. I watch her and think, how in the world do you do what you do? Raise a family of 19 little ones, and always seem so under control, so calm…
My flesh wants to give her a clutch. Thinking that maybe because she is on television, that keeps her in check. But I think it is more than that. I truly believe that it is because she seeks the Lord, first and foremost, and strives to walk in the Spirit daily.
I also think she has had a lot of practice in what works. I mean, come on now, after 19 kids, she has to be a pro! She has committed herself to staying calm and gentle while talking to her children, and therefore it has become second nature not to yell and scream at her children.
Now, by no means do I think she is perfect. I’m sure she wants to just go out into the woods and have an all – out – scream once in awhile.
I never thought that I would ever raise my voice with my children. But I do. Sometimes. More than I like.
Once we do, it can become a habit to become harsher with our tone of voice, when interacting with our children. When do you find that you become most impatient, quick to lash out, and anything but gentle with your children?
For me, it is when I’m in the flesh. I believe that it comes down to my own pride. I have an agenda for the day, and if they interrupt that, I get flustered.
It also is when I forget that they come first while I’m home. It is not blogging time or anything else that comes first. I am home to care for them and train them up in the Lord.
So, what do we do as Mothers? How do we stay Spirit-filled, calm, and gentle towards our children?
1. Try and spend time with the Lord daily. Hear His heartbeat. Fellowship with Him in prayer and communion.
2. Read/memorize/meditate on Galatians 5:16-22.
3. Make it a habit and a practice to stay calm. Try it for a day…you will see a difference.
4. Our children mimic us in all that we do. If we are staying calm, and modeling gentle actions, they will follow. If we yell, get frustrated, and are harsh with our children, they will start acting this way.
I love how you said, “It also is when I forget that they come first while I’m home. It is not blogging time or anything else that comes first. I am home to care for them and train them up in the Lord.”
That is my downfall most days with the harsh tone and raising my voice. I HAVE to remember I am at home FOR THEM. Not so I can have an active blog or keep updated on FB or even keep my house spotless. Thank you so much for this reminder. I needed it today…And I have noticed that since I have been waking up early and reading Scripture and really meditating on it, and praying and communing with God before my day even starts, my days go a lot smoother, I am a lot less apt to get angry or raise my voice.
Great post!
P.S. I think Michelle Duggar is absolutely a role model. You couldn’t remain that calm and patient with that many kids without God…there are some moms on TV that don’t remain calm and loving, even with cameras there.
You know, I was raised by a yeller. And history tends to repeat itself. So, I have to work really hard on breaking this habit. It tends to be more difficult when I have a lot of things to do and I am on a tight schedule. I just get excited and loud. Ooops. And then, it becomes easy to be ugly to my kids for no reason. If I were to speak to an adult the way I speak to my kids sometimes I would be in big trouble. And there is no adult in the world that I love as much as I love and cherish my children. I have, at times, tried whispering to them instead of yelling at them. This, though difficult to master, has been effective… when I can remember to do it! Thank you for your post today. It hits home for me!
Dana @ Calverette Chronicles
http://calverettechronicles.blogspot.com/
Great post! I’ve wondered the same thing about Michelle but I think you got it right in what you said here. 🙂 I need to remember this for myself, that is for sure!
Wise words, Traci.
Thanks.
I know I raise my voice too much, because I hear my people speaking that way. It is a kick in the stomach and a knife in my spirit every time I hear it. I do pray about, and really, consciously work to be quiet; I can only imagine the work Michelle Duggar has put into parenting gently.
I love this post. I have often wondered the same about the Duggars. I love the Duggars and really do look up to them. But how on earth can they go through the day with kids and not raise their voice!? How dare I go through the day with kids and raise my voice!? Through God’s strength I can become a gentle mother not the yelling one.
I was watching 19 kids and counting the other night and was thinking the exact same thing – does she ever raise her voice?!
I fail at this often, too often. I’ve been horrible about it lately, too.
Last night my husband and I were talking about raising our children. I have so so many failings on my part and last night it just made me cry. I, with Christ’s help, can be a better mom and boy, do I need His help! Anyway, this is a really good post at a time I really need it! Thank you!
I wasn’t a yeller until the boys hit those teenaged years….now that they are seniors I am trying really hard to step back (and keep my mouth shut) and let them make their mistakes. Better this year than when they are out on their own. Although, I have to admit, sometimes when the house is empty and really quiet a very loud scream really calms the nerves lol
Love this encouragement, Traci. Our kids need to come first when we are at home. Too many times I’m guilty of trying to do other things when I should be focused on my son – like right now. Oops. Time to get back to him.
Beautiful, Traci! Thanks so much for sharing!!!
Calm, what is that? :>) Every mom has there own unique challenges. Motherhood definately brings out the best and worst. Walking in the spirit and not in our flesh is a life long process. It is sad to say, but Husband and Son both pay attention,take notice, and act when mom lets the vocal chords go full volume. :>)
GRRRREAT post Traci! I love Michelle…and think we’ve all wondered if she ever yells??? =D I was one of those calm moms (cause I had one myself!) but found I thought every once in a while, I NEEDED to yell to make my point. You’re so right about needing to walk with the Lord to be all we should be. As a wise preacher once said…and it was life changing for me….there are NO perfect kids and there are NO perfect parents. You’re a doll. Have a fantastic Friday and weekend. XO
Thanks for the reminder. I needed it.
Thank you for the reminder. I needed it.