Traci

This week, my new friend Amber asks us to share a time when God answered our prayer in a way that we had hoped. Maybe you’d like to consider writing a post and linking up over at her blog today or next Friday?

I find that often times I don’t pray with a faith-filled heart. I have some doubt wedged in, glass half-empty. Expecting the worst, and hoping for the best? This isn’t the way God wants me to pray.

This mindset must be balanced with His wisdom and truth, knowing that HIS BEST for me might not be mapped out as I would have imagined.

I think that C.S. Lewis explains my heart best: “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”

The thing is, God always has our best in mind! What is best for us? That our daily, hourly, minute-by-minute encounters would bring glory to His name. My life is meant to reflect HIM, not Traci.

—–Flashback to 2008—–

As my eyes blurred from starring at those walls, the walls in that claustrophobic-size-of-a-doctor’s office, for what seemed like centuries, I prepared myself for the worst.

After not detecting a heartbeat at 10 weeks pregnant, my doctor sent me for an ultrasound. No biggy, I thought. I have a tilted uterus, so I figured that might be the reason.

I went for my ultrasound, and precious baby was found to be there. I assumed everything was now fine.

Then I got the call the next morning… the call that after working in the health care field for over 8 years, I knew was not good. “We’d like you to come in right away. We need to review your ultrasound results with you.”

My heart sunk deep within my chest. So deep I thought it might be swallowed whole. My husband was away on a business trip, so off I went alone.

I sat there, in that office… hearing muffled voices outside my door, pacing back and forth, wondering if it was my turn. By the time I’d get my heart to stop racing, I’d hear those voices and it would start back up again. What are they going to tell me, Lord?

My sweet doctor finally did come in. She sat down. She was not smiling. The first thing she said was, we have found some very concerning things after reviewing your ultrasound results. Your child has a Cystic Hygroma on the back of the neck and side wall. It is very large for this stage of pregnancy. You will most likely miscarry your baby, and if you carry your baby to term, it will most likely die or have a host of defects.

Then she said those words… you need to weigh your options carefully.

Bursting into an immediate flood of tears, I kindly, but firmly told her that there were no options to weigh. I would, without a doubt, keep my child.

Dabbing my eyes with tissue after tissue, it really felt like I was in a dream. Could this be, Lord? Is it really ME she is talking about?

I was to have a follow up ultrasound at 18 weeks. I asked to have them follow this a bit closer.

(Read about my journey of faith during that very dark, but hope-filled time HERE).

I then was to return 2 weeks later for a follow up ultrasound. Thankfully for this one, I had my husband by my side.

The doctor called us in immediately after the ultrasound to review the findings.

He stood there, almost dumb founded… and said “Well, the good news is it is completely gone.”

I was amazed. Shocked. Why would I be shocked? God can still work miracles today! I guess I was more humbled that He chose to answer in that way. I was prepared to follow my Lord with whatever the outcome He had in store… but I’m so glad he gave us our precious Carson James. What a blessing he is to us! Thank you Lord!

You can read more about what God was doing in my heart (Start Here, and read up).

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