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How To Guard Against Bitterness In Marriage

February 11, 2011 by Traci

Are you participating in the Love Dare here at Ordinary Inspirations?  Have you ever done anything like this before… and found yourself becoming bitter when you don’t see positive results from your sweet husband?
I remember reading this book, and feeling very boxed in and I found myself getting bitter towards my husband.  I foolishly thought that I could follow a formula and bing bang boom… I’d have the perfect marriage. 
For many of us, we start out with good, pure intentions.  Invest in our marriage.  Check.  But what about when we don’t get the results we are dreaming of? 
Some Questions/Guidelines:
1) Are you loving/serving your husband because the Lord has given you the grace and joy to do it?  If not, why are you doing it? 
2) Do you have unrealistic expectations of him?  Does he even know that you are going the extra mile?
3) Are you willing to love sacrificially even if you don’t see results on his part (right away or at all)?
4) Don’t ever ever ever wish your husband was like “so and so’s” husband.  This is a slippery slope that will lead to resentment, negative thinking, and adulterous behavior (even if it is only in your mind).
5) Remember that your husband is not perfect.  He is a work in progress.  (And so are you).  Remember and mull over the qualities that drew you to him in the first place.  Write them down.  Think about them.  Cultivate a garden of praise in your mind with your husband’s name on it!
6) Are you trying to change your husband or are you asking the Lord to change you?  Only God can change a heart.  That includes your husband.
7) Remember, you are pleasing the Lord when you honor and respect your husband.  In order to respect your husband, you need to be thinking positive thoughts of him throughout the day.  If we spend our whole day thinking things like “I wish he would do this” or “why can’t he notice what I’m doing around here and appreciate it” you will end up disappointed big time! 
8) Treat him like the best friend he should be.  Talk to him pleasantly.  Treat him with tender kindness.  Be there for him no matter what.
Have you been struggling with bitterness towards your husband?  Is it something that you use to struggle with but that God has given you the strength to overcome? 
I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Some other posts on marriage:
1.How to please your husband
2.10 ways you can encourage your husband to be the spiritual leader of your home.
3.My husband doesn’t need a skinny wife
4. Is your husband being left in the dust?
5. How to be HOT for your husband

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About Traci

I'm a curly-headed dreamer, currently living in Ashland, Ohio. I'm a photographer, and recently made my business official (LLC). I would love to talk to you about booking a photoshoot with me! View my photo gallery (click here) Check out my pricing and choose your package (click here) I love coffee, chocolate and potato chips.  I love a good … Read More...

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