This isn’t my daughter, but she is quite the cutie pie! My husband had a heart to heart with me last night on the back patio. We had our small bowl of french vanilla ice cream in hand, the kids were put to bed, and I was in a happy place… ready to receive constructive encouragement.
He went on to tell me about how the way we respond to our children, is the way they learn to respond to us. By me huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes and raising my voice, they are learning that behavior. If we want our children to speak with kind voices and gentle hearts and be quick to forgive and show God’s love, they’ve got to see it from US as parents first. Someone has to be the grownup in the relationship!
Whenever someone brings to light things we need to work on, it’s never fun. I get that gut wrenching fight in me… you know, the one that wants to plead my case and state all the good reasons why I’m right.
But I couldn’t argue any good points. I shook my head in agreement. I had just had this very conversation with a friend in church that morning.
Please know that my husband included himself in this constructive encouragement as well, for we are team, him and I. I’m so thankful for him.
And so this morning I started fresh. I prayed before my feet hit the floor. I prayed to be Spirit-filled, Spirit-led. I prayed for renewed joy in motherhood. I prayed God’s blessings upon my children.
Soft voices.
Gentle correction.
Smiles.
Hugs.
Speaking God’s word into their ears.
Showing God’s word in my actions as Mama.
It’s about starting over when we fail and being determined to try again. Because we will fail as parents… but let’s be quick to change our attitudes and hearts for God’s glory.
Do you find this to be true? I’ve also learned that the best place to be ready to hear some constructive encouragement is on the back patio, with kids in bed, and a small bowl of french vanilla ice cream in hand!
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Oh yes, amen and ouch! Thank you for this, Traci!
So true Traci!! Great points, I am going to write them out and post them on the fridge!! Thanks for the encouragement!
Amen sis! I’ve been there (receiving correction from my husband recently.) So true, it isn’t fun, but we appreciate more when we know they’re right!
It’s good to listen to constructive criticism even though it’s hard to take in the truth about ourselves…but ice cream really does help. 🙂
It takes real maturity to receive correction, and even more, to be transparent and reveal your struggles here. You’re quite a special gal, Traci. 🙂
I have to ditto Angel @ Finding the Inspiring’s above comment. Your husband is absolutely right and I’m sure you knew that as he spoke. It is difficult to accept “forced introspection” even when it is constructive in nature. Why is that? I think that we as moms put our all in all into being the best moms we can be and when the outcome we have in mind doesn’t quite make it, then we get frustrated and resort to less kind and less gentle interactions with our kids. It’s human nature. I give you kudos for the ability to communicate with your husband openly and accept his constructive encouragement. In all honesty, I probably would have rolled my eyes and yelled at my poor husband…
I am convicted us of this SO many times; when I get frustrated with how my children speak/act to one another, God’s gentle nudging reminds me that’s it is most times, learned from me. How critical our job is as Moms!!! Only by His spirit can it be done!! Thanks for posting!!
Oh, how I needed to read this! SO many times when I hear how my children act/speak to each other (and I get frustrated and saddened by what I hear!), God gently reminds me that most of it is learned from me! How we need His spirit directing our mouths and actions!!! Thanks so much for posting!
I loved this one. I am out of the parenting stage and into the grandmother stage. I found great wisdom in your thoughts today.
Blessings!