I yell at her to obey. To stop whining. To quit bugging her brother. To be the example. When I yell, I see her spirit is crushed and I instantly feel guilty. When I yell at her I’m squelching the opportunity to connect our hearts… to win hers.
I want to learn to respond, not react. Ya know? Do you find yourself reacting to your children’s disobedience rather than responding? Reacting is full of emotion and happens without careful thought. Responding stops and thinks first. It takes purposeful thinking about that little soul and how you want the heart changed, not the behavior. Yeah… it’s super hard. The mommy-discipline. For we must talk softly, sweetly, and slowly… and always with love. This will win their heart.
Before my daughter got on the bus this morning I yelled at her, was harsh, and just plain nasty. This evening I spent the night teaching her how to ride her bike. Just as I am typing this post my daughter looked at me and said, “Mommy, I’m glad we hung out together tonight.” You see, your child needs YOU. They need you to be present and kind and available. I’m learning too, sweet Mama. So remember:
1) Be kind with your speech.
2) Be sweet with your actions.
3) Don’t react; respond.
4) Don’t ever yell at your children; it crushes their spirit.
5) Spend quality time with them.
6) Show them Christ’s love. Each moment is a chance to show them His grace.
7) Seek to win their heart; not just change their behavior.
Thanks for visiting!
Such a great post and reminder! Sometimes we just react so quickly and forget to take a breath and think first. I am constantly trying to remind myself to have more patients and not to yell or say things that may be hurtful to my childrens’ feelings.
I’m such a reactor, thanks for this encouraging reminder. I definitely need it:)
Awesome reminder….And I learned this a little to late. Now that I look at my children as adults, I have so many regrets. They are good kids (adults), but if I could do things over….
But my late notices weren’t all that bad. My youngest daughter (18) brought her best friend home today to talk to me about some personal issues she is facing (knowing her own mother would yell and scream). My daughter brought her to me knowing that I would listen and console.
Great post Traci, as always….
I struggle with this often. Thank you for this beautiful encouragement.
Great reminder and well said. Thank you. I need to post this in every room and in my car. We only get a short window to train them up in His ways…His ways are so much better than mine.
I, too, struggle with this. Thank you for the reminder. This is an awesome post!
I struggle with this too:( Thanks for this encouragement to remember their heart.
This is so great, Traci. How sweet you are taking the time to teach her ride the bike, which can be hard and frustrating but will be such a special memory that she remembered her mom cared enough to spend the time teaching her!
I too often am harshest on Keelin, maybe it’s the oldest thing and we expect too much. Ironically I yell at her the most, and the yelling affects her much more than Ashlyn who would just shrug it off. I especially hate it when I overreact to something little she does that would not be a big deal if I wasn’t stressed about something else that isn’t even her fault. When both girls are acting up it is usually Keelin I blame. This post reaffirms in me the promise I have also been trying to keep to slow down and speak to her calmly and with love, which she reacts too so much better. Thanks for writing this.
GREAT stuff, Traci!!
Have a blessed Saturday, my friend…
I truthfully believe that most Mothers struggle with how they respond to their children’s miss behavior. You give wonderful wisdom today and it is a choice as to how you will react. Count to 20 before you say anything; that sometimes helped me.
Blessings for this one!
girl!?!? are you reading my mind or what??
ha! i’m reading through Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst… the whole book is based on what you wrote about, how our emotions can work for us and not against us! thanks for backin’ that up 🙂 ♥ loves to you!