No marriage is exempt from the fallout of infidelity. Most of us go into a marriage with great hopes and dreams. With the recent uproar of the Ashely Madison hack, maybe you are second guessing the strength of your own marriage. Maybe thoughts like this one creep into your mind:
If sexual sin is such a big deal, then what if it happened to us?
You and I must realize we can’t control what others do. People in the media, your church, and maybe your family’s marriages may be falling apart, but yours doesn’t have to. Here are 10 ways to help safeguard your own marriage:
1) Always Communicate
Lack of communication and financial issues typically are the reasons for most divorce cases. When we stop communicating, the protective barrier of marriage is quickly broken down. We need to work on keeping our emotions in check so that we don’t say rash and hurtful things to one another. Let’s not say things in the heat of the moment because our emotions have gotten the best of us.
2) Be Truthful All Of The Time
I’ve heard of spouses keeping things from one another. Secret bank accounts, trouble at work, and the list goes on. It is always healthy to stay current and truthful with your spouse. After all, they should be your very best friend and tender companion. Building trust in a marriage doesn’t happen overnight. Say no to white lies and stretching the truth.
3) Think The Best Of Your Spouse
This sounds so simple, but it’s so very profound! Was your husband late again? Think the best … don’t just jump to conclusions. Feeling left behind with the kids? Talk it out with your spouse. They may have some of their own frustrations and assumptions. When we give one another the benefit of the doubt, it will heal us and bind us as a unit.
4) Keep Fights To A Minimum
No marriage is free from fights, but they must be kept to a minimum and taken care of quickly. Bitterness in marriage is what makes it crumble! When bitterness comes, it will eat away at our thoughts, actions, and intentions. Confess your sin often and ask for forgiveness. Keep snippiness away and harsh comments at bay.
5) Work On Your Friendship
Meet one another’s emotional needs through the act of friendship. When friendship is thriving in a marriage, the temptation outside of it diminishes. Practice! Practice doing what your spouse loves to do. What makes them happy? Secure? Feel Important? Act on these often.
6) Be Kinder Than You Have To
Don’t just be kind, be kinder than you have to. Each day tell your partner how important they are to you. Validate their importance and use your words and actions to make them feel secure and loved.
7) Guard Yourselves Against The Internet
Pornography is as easy as a click of the button. Men and women alike, can easily be lured into finding satisfaction apart from their spouse via the internet. With women, it may be connecting with an old spark via Facebook, with men it may be looking at an attractive woman and fanaticizing about her instead of his own wife. The Bible says,
A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Galatians 5:9
8) Keep Intimacy Exciting
I’m not just talking about creative sex. Intimacy starts with our eyes and the way we speak to one another with our gentle touches throughout the day. It takes selflessness and laying aside our pride. Hugs, kisses, and playful banter with one another. Sweet texts. Special and thoughtful love notes. The little ways of intimacy could speak louder than the ACT of marriage. All of these things play a special role in the intimacy department.
9) Work On A GREAT Marriage
We can’t just work on a good marriage, we need to strive for a GREAT one. Never assume that because your marriage is good today, it shields you from the temptation of tomorrow. Each morning you rise from bed, it’s a battleground. Are you fighting for a GREAT marriage, or just an good one? A good one will turn into an okay one and then a bad one if you aren’t proactive.
10) Time In God’s Word Daily
We MUST be in God’s Word. If we aren’t hearing, reading, memorizing, praying, and meditating on what God says, we will start believing the lies of the world. Satan will trickle into our minds thoughts of doubt here and there, and before you know it, you could be thinking awful things! Keep God’s Word close to your heart and mind. Pray God’s Word over your spouse. Prayer is so powerful! I hope these ten things will help us all protect our own marriages!
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.