Marriage takes work. Life is so busy. We have commitments with work, school, raising children, teaching, training, keeping up with house work, church activities, . . . you name it! It’s so easy to let the distractions of the day take away from cultivating the union of marriage. It is a choice to love your spouse. Some days it will be easy. The feelings will be there, the kids have been well behaved, everyone is in a good mood, and all those gushy emotions line up perfectly. Other days, everything goes wrong. The kids are cranky. Your alarm didn’t go off. You spilled coffee all over your clothes. You had an argument at work with a co-worker. You disagree about something with your spouse and that invisible wall goes up between you.
No matter what, it is an important investment to be strengthening your marriage. The union of marriage is under attack in so many ways, and if we don’t start with the simple, every day things we say, it is sure to crumble. Lack of communication is one of the number one reasons for divorce today.
Here are 26 things your husband needs to hear from you on a regular basis:
1. I am for you and I believe in you!
More than anything, he needs to know you have his back! Your husband could be feeling really low and down in the dumps about his value as a man. By simply telling him that you believe in him, could change his whole perspective about a situation.
2. You are hot, Babe!
Let him know he’s sexy to you. Tell him often that he’s hot!
3. I forgive you.
Don’t hold grudges. Years of holding onto hurt only causes resentment and bitterness.
4. You come first-before the children.
Yes, the children are important. They are really cute and needy. They pull on us and demand all of our attention. But remember that your husband came first and should remain first. Let your children see this as well. They should be able to tell that you love one another (and like each other).
5. I need your help.
Trust me, your husband doesn’t want to hear your laundry list of woes ALL the time. But it is so important that he hears your heart! What are you struggling with? How are you feeling? In what way can he help you overcome a struggle or addiction? Ask him for his help!
6. I love you.
This should be said all the time. Even when you don’t feel like it. Especially when you don’t feel like it. The feelings will catch up with the words. Love is a daily choice.
7. Let’s go on a date.
Don’t wait for him to plan a date. Get a babysitter and surprise him with a date night. What would he enjoy? Be creative. Try these date your husband from home questions.
8. Thank’s for marrying me.
Remind him often that you’d marry him all over again. Thank him for choosing you! Remind him how special you feel because he’s yours.
9. Let’s go to the bedroom.
It’s not just the husband’s job to initiate intimacy. When’s the last time you pursued him? I recommend this book: the good girl’s guide to great sex.
10. Let’s pray together.
Prayer is so important in marriage. Buy yourself a prayer notebook and start writing down specific things you want to pray for with your spouse.
11. Tell him through a note.
Leave him a surprise note somewhere (at work, in his lunch, on his pillow, etc).
12. You are a great father (or will be one day).
Remind him of how amazing he is as a father. If you don’t have children yet, encourage him and tell him all the reasons why he will be a great father one day. Being a man who leads his family well is one of the most amazing qualities.
13. I saved some energy for you today.
My goodness! You and I can be down right exhausted by the end of the day! Don’t use up all your energy throughout the day only to have nothing to offer your husband in the evening.
Sometimes it just takes purposefully planning in our mind to be intentional about connecting with our husband. Make a better effort at it.
14. I want to fight for us-forever.
Let him know that he’s worth fighting for. Forever.
15. Leave him flirty text messages.
Text him flirty messages. Just be sure that you are sending it to him before you hit send; that could be embarrassing.
16. What are your dreams/plans?
Ask him what his current dreams and plans are for the future. Tell him how you plan on helping him accomplish those dreams.
17. I’m sorry- will you forgive me?
Tell him you are sorry when you mess up. Ask for forgiveness and mean it.
18. Let’s have a media-free evening.
Pick an evening where it’s media-free. I’ve seen some families do this all the time.
If this doesn’t work for your family, start by picking one night of the week. You might find out it’s really enjoyable and beneficial.
19. I’m proud of you.
Tell him all the reasons why you are proud of him.
20. Tell him without words.
Show him. Listen well. Respond to what makes him smile. Learn what your husband appreciates and act on it. Actions speak louder than words.
21. You still take my breath away.
Tell him that he still gives you goosebumbs, butterflies and still takes your breath away.
22. Can I give you a massage?
Offer to give him a massage with no strings attached.
23. You are my best friend.
Tell him that he’s your best friend. Above any other girlfriend, or hobby or passion.
24. I love it when you wear that.
Tell him when he looks great. Be specific.
25. Go out with the guys.
Husbands need male-bonding time just like we need our girl time. Give him your permission without waiting for him to tell you he’s going out, and you responding with the eye-roll and sigh.
26. I’m going to go out for some “me” time.
Go out and enjoy yourself. Unwind and do something you enjoy. Even if it’s sitting in a quiet parking lot drinking a frappuchino. Getting away isn’t selfish, it’s needed once in awhile. You’ll be a better wife and mama for it.