I slump back in the squishy leather couch, warm cup of java in hand. I cradle the mug with my fingertips, lips slumped over the edge, steam rising into my nostrils.
I have nothing.
No energy. No ambition. No motivation.
Not even to sip my favorite beverage.
It usually hits right about now. The exhaustion and the loneliness of a husband’s long work season. I’m always prepared for it mentally, but half way through, the emotional toll takes flight.
The kids miss him. They get cranky. I get cranky, and then it usually culminates with tears all around.
The dishwasher needs to be emptied and the sink keeps piling up. (I keep telling myself that I’ll do the empty and load dance in a minute).
This is where I usually turn to food for comfort. Emotional stress is my biggest trigger for slipping into a food coma. I’ve learned to be prepared, and so I avoid it. This time.
Instead, I go do the thing I dread. The dishes.
I turn on some great tunes. Rend Collective.
I recall some scripture and it restores me. God’s Word.
And slowly but surly, my joy returns. Usually when joy returns, it gathers up all the others with it.
In the heat of the evening, as I watch my kids play and roll around in the grass, I’m thankful. I still miss him, their Daddy… and I secretly wish we were on some family outing or even a girls night out (by myself).
But I’m thankful.
And then, in that moment where my mind balances on the tightrope of joy and desperation, my daughter sends me this in my email
and brings me these flowers.
Your moments of loneliness and desperation may not look identical to mine, but I’m pretty certain that the pit in your stomach and the tears on your warm cheeks are. Please know that your Heavenly Father is never late and He always shows up with fresh flowers in a plastic cup with words of I Love You, to restore your downcast spirit.
So get up off that couch, even when you aren’t motivated.
Put on some music.
Meditate on scripture.
You may be surprised at the outcome.
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