Charissa has set out on an adventure to define her life by her identity in Jesus Christ. In God’s eyes, the old life she once lived is dead {forgotten, gone forever, perished, at the bottom of the ocean} and new life has come {budding, flourishing, fresh, spotless}. Her eyes have beheld her Savior, tasted of His love, and heard His voice. She is convinced that she is His beloved and the apple of His eye. Jesus Christ is revealing His heart to her. He makes everyday an adventure that keeps her running into His arms {the only place where she will ever be satisfied}.
Charissa writes…
Growing up, although I was naive and sheltered, I had this innate sense that sex was something very beautiful and worth waiting for until marriage. My parents never told me anything, at least nothing that I can remember. My mom and I only started talking about it only a few weeks before my wedding day.
We were driving in the car together probably on our way to pick up more wedding supplies and she asked, “Why do you need to read books on sex?” Obviously she had seen the books I was reading in my bedroom, “The Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds,” and “Sheet Music.”
“There is a lot more to marriage than that… it’s only part of it. Besides, there’s only one way to do it anyways.”
After a few minutes of awkward questions and short answers, our conversation was over. I love my mom and have always known, despite the fighting and the tears, that her and my dad were, and are, best friends.
But her words got me thinking… why did I think sex was so important? Maybe she was right… I don’t need to read anything about it. Maybe I shouldn’t be… am I sinning? Am I reading about something that is so sacred that I should only let God reveal it to me once I am married? As a bride-to-be was I making a bigger deal out of it than I should?
I knew the wisdom I was searching for about sex and married life would not happen overnight. It certainly wouldn’t happen through just reading books, listening to sermons, or talking to older women. The mystery of marriage was far deeper than words could ever explain. The real lessons would begin after my husband and I said our vows, in the practical everyday experience of married life.
After being married one year, I can definitely agree with my mom, “There is more to marriage than just sex.” However, I am making new discoveries everyday of the grand purpose God had in mind when He created sex. The power it has to heal, restore, unite, and beautify a marriage is beyond what I ever imagined.
trooppetrie says
have you read the book intimate issues. I have been thinking of doing a study on it again. It is a wonderful book
Stacy says
beautiful
Kim - A Creative Spirit says
A beautful take on the S word and marriage. Thanks for stopping by with your kind thoughts today.
Emily says
These are great reminders – even after being married for over 11 years I know I need to bring that godly perspective back to the marriage bed.
Troop – Love the book Intimate Issues! 🙂
LaVonne says
Thank you for sending me over to her blog. Love it!
Blessings and Happy Week!
Crystal says
Great post! Have you read the book “The Act of Marriage”? It is really good. I read it while my husband was deployed after 2 yrs of marriage and it truly changed the way I viewed the bedroom.
Homeschool on the Croft says
We’ve been married 19 years and I see more and more every year the wonder and the beauty of the gift of making love with our spouse. I see it as such a gift from God, because He didn’t ‘need’ to give us this – it was out of His heart of love. Of course it is not the ‘be-all-and-end-all’ of marriage, but it is hugely important to cement bonds that are there; to strengthen bonds that are in danger of weakening; and to demonstrate how we feel for each other.
It is difficult to talk about these things to many people because of what society has done to this wonderful gift God has given us. But we must not allow its corruption to spoil its beauty.
Thanks for posting,
Love, Anne x
Angie Field says
You said it perfectly.
La Familia Garcia says
oh how cool that you posted on this and shared her thoughts. I’m excited to check out her blog! I love reading her godly take on marriage and even intimacy and what she’s learned about it after being married. I’m not sure what her mom meant “there’s only one way to do it” or she shouldn’t be reading about it. That’s like saying why should I read books about parenting….I’ll just learn as I go. I think God gave us godly people in our lives to share from for a reason to grow…but we definately need to take his word as #1 in our life and the most important and go to that first for our resource.
Missy says
This is certainly a topic I struggle with, especially since I did not grow up in a Christian home. I will be checking out this blog.
It is something that I have greatly been struggling with in my marriage life lately. In fact, I have it on my list of posts that I want to create.